Getting Ready for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Use these three pointers to direct your bar or bat mitzvah plans (1-28-08)
By: Romi Sussman (www.RomiSussman.com)A bar or bat mitzvah is a major milestone in the life of a family. This event marks the time when a girl (usually at the age of 12) or a boy (usually at the age of 13) accepts himself as an adult in the Jewish religion. In a religious sense, this would mean that he or she would start keeping mitzvot such as lighting candles, fasting on holidays, praying with a group of 10, etc.
While not all Jewish people observe these mitzvot, they still see a bar or bat mitzvah as a turning point in a child’s life and as a time when the child moves from the stage of childhood to adolescent.
So, what do all of these ideas mean for the event that you are planning? There are certainly many things to discuss, but most of them can be boiled down into a few key points.
1. Try, in your planning, to keep in mind the purpose. Many people get swept up in the event and forget what the event is for. It becomes simply a big party and loses much of its meaning. If possible, try to keep your perspective and your child’s perspective. You can do this by emphasizing the learning they are doing in preparation, by creating charity projects attached to the event, etc.
2. Consult with your child. Yes, you want to create a nice event, but the event is really intended to surround your child’s achievement. Within reason, include him or her in the process. Does she want a violin at the affair? Is she interested in having a belly dancer or will she find it to be too much? Is she capable of pushing herself to learn more and to give a speech at the event? Bring her into the process with you for a much more rewarding experience.
3. Ignore the neighbors. I’m sure that you have great friends and family who mean well. But, this is your event. Do it the way you want to do it, and not the way that everyone else has or the way that they want you to.
Enjoy this special time in the life of your family. Remember – it only comes once!
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